Getting Personal

I'm sure you've all noticed lately that I haven't been posting much. Part of that has to do with the holidays, part of it has do to with not having much to say, but there's also part of me that has been struggling to share life's recent events. There's nothing to freak out about. It's pretty minor in the grand scheme of life, but it's difficult and trying for me personally. As many of you already know, Hans and I have been seeing a fertility specialist for the past year because I have PCOS and we are ready to start a family.


February of this year I put myself on a 1200 calorie diet, and lost about 35 pounds. Then we flew back to the US for a month and things went downhill a bit from there. I was unable to stay on my diet and even quit logging everything I ate. Fast forward to November. I was still 'off track' but thankfully hadn't gained any of the weight back. I was eating fairly healthy, but still not logging my calories. For the past several months, my fertility specialist had been trying to 'jump start' my hormones into taking control. The attempt was futile.


In the beginning it appeared to be working, but as the months went on it, the results dwindled. Unsure of what would come next, I e-mailed my doctor as he'd asked and received a reply that absolutely broke my heart.

Dear Laina,

I suggest you continue with weight loss and more exercise. You may also take the p-pill for some time on, but probably this will need more direct hormone treatment and we will not commence on that at your present BMI.

You are welcome for a scan in a weeks time, to see if the follicles might be developing.

With kind regards

Jørn Rolighed 

I moped around for a few days feeling sorry for myself. I felt like my own doctor thought I was a lost cause. He was giving up on me. Nothing like that sort of news to make you feel pretty hopeless/useless/worthless.


After the moping subsided I decided to start over again. I suppose sometimes it's a good thing I am so damn stubborn. I've begun tracking my calories again, and have been toying, for months, with the thought of going raw. I'm not sure if raw is something I can handle yet, so for now I will stick to tracking my calories.


All of this will likely bring about a change here as well. I will do my best to post only healthy, low calories foods. I will include the calories of the meals, dishes, desserts I post. If any of you follow me on Pinterest I have a new board. I will post every healthy/low-calorie recipe I come across and if there is nutritional information I will add that when pinning.


I am also looking in to meal planning. It's hard to eat healthy, but planning ahead helps, and will save us some money. Hopefully, it will prevent my husband from buying 6 packages of butter like he did the other day, as well!


Right now, my main goal is to make it through the holidays and still lose weight. This might be hard since I am making my Grandma's Dressing to go along with a big Turkey...and maybe a pecan pie.


If any of you have any tips or tricks they are willing to share, I'd love to hear them!


(If you are concerned about my caloric intake, don't be. I began my journey working with a nutritionist who approved of the 1200 calories, and the foods I was consuming. When the day comes that I reach my goal weight and add a significant amount of exercise to what I currently do, I will be contacting her again to find out what kind of caloric intake I will require for maintenance.)